When We're Open Enough to Learn

Welcome to TarotMama. My goal is to help those of you out there who use the tarot, whether as a reader for yourself and/or others, or as a client of someone who reads for you, figure out the practical messages and lessons offered by this form of self-communication. I call it self-communication, because essentially that's what it is; we most often already know the answers we seek, we just need a little help bringing them to the forefront of our consciousness.

I have a lovely example of this for you in a reading I did for myself tonight.

I thought I was asking about a potential job opportunity. Instead, the reading I drew addressed a much more compelling and important question that has actually been on my mind for quite awhile.

I pulled 10 cards for a Celtic Cross Spread from the Voyager Tarot. The crucial message came in the first two cards, which were:

1. present influences, atmosphere or situation: Wheel of Fortune
2. immediate influence, crossing or furthering energy, something coloring the situation: Five of Cups, Disappointment

The remainder of the cards were glowingly positive and reassuring, culminating with the Ten of Cups. This read to me as something very different than a "don't worry, be happy" message, however. Instead, this reading was a very clear warning that I am blocking my own good fortune, luck, happiness and success by clinging to my disappointment. I began to think of how much of my life has been spent in disappointment, how just recently I was thinking that I am being set up to be "disappointed again." The longer I considered this card, the more apparent it became that slowly and insidiously, "disappointed" has become part of my personal identity. Not merely a self-fulfilling prophecy, "disappointed" somehow has become one of the ways I define and express myself in the world.

So what does it mean to be "disappointed?"

Jim Wanless notes in his book Voyager Tarot: Way of the Great Oracle that "Disappointment is the result of your emotional attachment to an expectation that is unfulfilled. The "negative" mind views this as a loss. The outcome is sadness and heartache." This is certainly not a newsflash, not even anything I didn't already know, but for some reason the words struck me in a much more profound way. I had been thinking that I was about to be disappointed again, that I didn't want to be disappointed any more. But I had been thinking of it almost without any connection to my own ability to influence the situation, as though disappointment was inevitable and furthermore something that would be heaped on me from an external source.

A key issue that came up as Card 9 (environment, tendancies existing with respect to those who affect the querent, immediate surroundings) was Trust, the Six of Wands. I will need to invest in my associates, friends, partners and environment the trust that things are on-course, that all the good I deserve is in fact coming to me and my goals and dreams are on their way. But this is not merely blind trust; also present and prominently placed were Aspiration, the Four of Wands; Illumination, the Ace of Wands; and major arcana cards The Star and The Empress. This reading might be about letting go of attachments and expectations, but it was not at all about letting go of dreams, goals, or hopes. "Go for your goals, but live in the moment," Wanless advises. "When disappointed, work harder at realizing your goals, but also work hard at letting go of your emotional attachment to the outcome." Instead of telling me to let go because my desires were not going to be forthcoming, the reading appears to underscore all the wonderful things I'll miss if I don't get my behind off the attachment bandwagon, that my "disappointment" is in fact blocking me from everything I desire.

This is not to say that I or anyone should be closed off to feelings. Emotional attachments are necessary things. We have them to our children, our partners, our passions, our pets. We are soulless beings without emotional attachments. But you can be emotionally attached to a goal (or even a person) without holding attachment to an outcome. Consider a potential mate. You have an emotional attachment to this individual, for sure. You are fond of them, you want the best for them, you appreciate them, and they mean something to you. Their happiness brings happiness to you. But must this person be destined to be your spouse or lover in order for the emotional attachment to flourish? By trying to squeeze your emotional attachment into the tiny box of a specific outcome, you diminish its value, you place the heavy chains of expectation upon the other person, and you potentially set yourself up for ... you guessed it, disappointment.

I often find that people who have this kind of attachment, on reaching the outcome they wanted, simply replace it with a new outcome on which to focus and pour all their emotional energy. So fulfillment is never reached, tension always permeates the environment, and disappointment is always on the horizon. I know I have been guilty of this in the past, and I am much more vigilant about it now.

At any rate, I am grateful I was open enough this evening to see in the cards a very important lesson that I know will have lasting impact on my health and happiness in the future. We aren't always open enough to learn, but the cards are, fortunately, willing to repeat themselves as often as necessary until we finally "get it."

xox,
Your Tarot Mama

the full spread below:
deck: Voyager
spread: 10-card Celtic Cross

1. Wheel of Fortune
2. Five of Cups, Disappointment
3. The Empress
4. The Star
5. Woman of Cups, Rejoicer
6. Ace of Wands, Illumination
7. Eight of Worlds, Change
8. Six of Wands, Trust
9. Four of Wands, Aspiration
10. Ten of Cups, Passion

Discussion and questions welcome! Please note comments are moderated to control spam. :)