Why--and How--To Keep a Readings Journal

The advice to keep a journal of your tarot readings is fairly common, and I think many people do this and find value in it. Your tarot journals can be an invaluable tool for learning and reflection and really help get your feet under you; the opportunity to reflect on those readings and your interpretations and the patterns you see can become an extremely useful resource later on. 

However, I don't think it's uncommon for new tarot readers to keep journals in ways that render them almost useless. I know I exhibited more than just a little a bit of obsessive weirdness in my early journal-keeping practices. I spent a few months initially attempting to record all my efforts with tarot  in calligraphy. (You can all stop giggling right about ... now.)

I also spent far too long pouring over my journal and managed to totally frustrate myself by re-interpreting readings I had done only a few days or weeks earlier. This was incredibly counter-productive and really only underscored my inability to trust my own instincts at that point in time. I was left pained and confused as a result. Another person I know carefully wrote down every card she ever pulled for any reason, and devoted pages and pages of interpretation from every source imaginable to each of those cards. At the end of her process, she had volumes of oftentimes-contradictory opinion for each card in her deck and knew everything anyone else ever thought any card could mean, but had no idea what the cards meant to her.

The primary difference between us was that I wrote far fewer and much shorter journal entries, since the calligraphy made my hand hurt after awhile and I was so adept at challenging my own interpretations, I didn't need additional reference materials to do the job. What we clearly shared was our persistent reluctance to trust our own ability to read and interpret our own cards, and the fact that our journals, no matter our intentions in keeping them, were basically useless.

The trick is to understand that keeping a readings journal is a practical exercise, not a mystical rite. Once I embraced this truth (and abandoned the calligraphy), things got much better. My focus changed to recording what I felt the cards were saying to me, then following up with observations and lessons from my life experiences, I was able to see patterns, learn interpretations specific to me, and develop a greater understanding of relationships between cards in my deck as I read them. My friend and I had both been worried about reading each card "right," when in reality there are general guidelines and impressions created by other readers throughout time, but there is no set "right" or "wrong" meaning for any card. The point of your journal and its use must be open reflection, not an academic search for the "right" answer.

I still try to keep a journal today, even though I am rather less consistent than I should be. If you are not yet keeping a journal and want to start out on the right foot, or if you suspect your journaling is not as useful as it could be, try these simple steps to ensure you are keeping--and using--your journal in a way that will enhance rather than inhibit your reading ability.

When journaling:

• Use a format that is unobtrusive and easy for you. It makes no difference whether you type out a card-by-card list, use an annotated photo, make a stream-of-consciousness voice recording, or jot notes on a sketch of the layout at hand. Keep practicality in mind!
• Don't use the act of journaling as an opportunity to question your interpretation. Write down what you feel is the appropriate meaning of the card in the current context. If you have uncertainties or questions, make note of them, but the most important element is capturing your first impression.There will be plenty of time for reflection later.
• Avoid censoring yourself, especially as a new reader. If you pull a card and have a first impression of what it might mean, make note of it. If you are still looking up card meanings in books or online, and you find other interpretations that consistently suggest the meaning is different from your first impression, pay attention to this, but don't just discard your first impression as "wrong." Instead, think of this as an opportunity to consider the context of your interpretation, and how your impression might actually mesh with, rather than be in opposition to, another more generally-accepted interpretation. 

When reviewing your journal:

• Remember that the tarot may not be on your personal timeline. If you've done a reading that suggests certain events in the future, don't decide your reading was 'wrong' if a week (or a month, or even a year) goes by and those events don't materialize. Remember too that people have free will, and our actions can change any outcome we might be trending toward at any time.
• Look for patterns, not "mistakes." Cards will oftentimes take on strong personal meanings for you that may not apply to anyone else or be shared by any other reader. My personal example is from Jim Wanless' Voyager Tarot. The 10 of Crystals is entitled "Delusion," and Wanless' own interpretation focuses on unrealistic expectations; however, for me that card is always about timing. It took a lot of readings and a lot of journaling before I figured that out and gave myself permission to just let that card have its own meaning for me, despite what the "experts" had to say.
• Keep an open mind; be kind to yourself! Your journal is an opportunity for you to learn, not keep score. If you note a reading that you now believe to be "way off," think about the context of the reading and your attitudes and feelings at the time--how might these things have influenced the way you saw the cards? This is where those side notes about questions and other impressions are handy.
• Consider the kinds of inquiries you are making. Refining the way you ask the question is just as important as refining the way you interpret the answer.
• Review, don't reinterpret. Accept that the readings you have written down were read that way for a reason. It may now be up to you to sort out that reason.

To sum up, a tarot journal can be a powerful tool to help you expand your abilities and develop a stronger personal understanding of how the tarot speaks to you. Whether you're a beginner or an experienced reader, if you focus on making your journal-keeping an honest record of your skills and approach, you'll get the most out of this practice and reap the rewards for years to come.

Get the Most Out of Your Card-A-Day Practice

Many people, ranging from advanced tarot pratitioners to casual dabblers, engage in a ritual that involves pulling a single tarot card every day. I did this myself for a number of years, and it was extremely useful in first learning about the cards and their meaning, and later in helping me establish a stronger personal interpretation of the tarot. These days, I'll pull a single card a couple of times a week, and as you might guess, my process is not at all like most of the rest of the world's. But we'll get to my process later.

The basic approaches to card-a-day include meditative, academic, and awareness (or its shadow side, divinatory). Each of these approaches has a different emphasis and are delightfully mix-and-match: you can use the approach that has resonnance for you based on where you are in your tarot practice as well as whatever needs you have in your life.

The Meditative Approach
There are a number of tarot teachers who emphasize "card a day" as a meditative practice. I think this is an excellent approach, especially for the serious student who wants to deepen their personal relationship with the cards. And while it will no doubt be easier to integrate if you already meditate on a regular basis, having the motivation of card-a-day as well as the image of the card to focus on could also serve as a wonderful aid for those who would like to start a meditative practice.

If you don't have a signficant meditation background but want to try this approach, use these easy steps as your framework, and then personalize as you like.

1. Select a time when you will have 15 minutes or so to devote to this practice. It can be longer or shorter depending on what feels right to you.

2. Select a spot where you can be comfortable and without distractions.

3. Do whatever "set up" will help you become focused and centered. This might include lighting incense, dimming the lights or lighting candles, getting pillows or blankets, putting on music that you find inspiring, gathering any items you would like to have nearby. Don't forget your tarot deck!

4. Sit comfortably, but with good posture. You want to make sure that you have good energy flow from the base of your spine to through to the crown of your head. You may also lie down. Yoga's virasana, savasana, and sukhasana poses are very good for meditation. (Virasana is my personal favorite.) But you don't have to be in any sort of "official" pose--you can position yourself anywhere in any way that is comfortable and not energy-blocking, including in a chair, on your bed, in a pile of pillows on the floor--whatever works for you.

5. Feel yourself calm, focused and centered. Take as long as you need to.

6. Now, choose your tarot card. Follow whatever procedure you want to select the card.

7. Look at the card. Try to keep your mind free of judgement. Notice what you notice, and let it go. Let your eyes and mind focus on whatever they focus on. Let thoughts about the card rise up and pass away.

8. Continue this for as long as it feels useful. Depending on your experience with meditation, this could be anywhere from half an hour to 30 seconds.

9. You're done! Come to a new head space and write down any inspirations, revelations, or ideas that came to you during meditation. You may have quite a few packed in, ready to spill out. Or you may not have much to say. Don't worry about it. Take what you get and embrace it.

The Academic Approach
This is an excellent approach if you are just learning the cards, or making the jump from "book" interpretation to a more personally-inspired interpretation. Instead of meditation, this approach involves research and critical thought. Set aside some time each day to look carefully at your daily card and consciously examine it. Make detailed notes about what you see, what you feel, and what you think when you look at this card. Look at multiple interpretations of this card's meaning--this is especially important if you have been relying on a single author's interpretation for most of your readings. Consider the similarities and differences between these interpretations. Finally, write down what the card means to YOU. Remember that writing things down does not make them permanent and unchangeable, it just creates a record for you to see your own progress.

The Awareness or (boo-hiss) Divinatory Approach
Probably the most common among casual tarot users, the awareness approach involves basically drawing a card a day and ideally using it as something of a touchstone during the day, being aware of the energies of the card when the come into play, being on the lookout for situations in which the message of the daily card can be of assistance. Unfortunately, I suspect a lot of users at this level take the less-evolved aspect of this approach to heart, and infuse their card-a-day with predictive influence that it really doesn't deserve, and set themselves up for a most unsatisfactory outcome from their card-a-day practice.

What do I mean? Consider for example someone who draws the Queen of Swords as their card of the day. If you're practicing awareness, you'll notice during the day when you're called on to make tough decisions or to carry some responsibilities that aren't really yours. Because you drew this card, you might consider the benefit of doing so with strength and focus rather than complaining about it or trying to convince the "powers that be" that it's not your job. You might choose to embody the Queen of Swords and power through those situations.

A person who is practicing card-a-day as divination will most likely first freak out at the sight of a Sword card, because "swords mean difficulty." They will then wonder if they're going to meet a difficult woman in a position of power that day, or if their boss is going to be unimpressed with their performance and get them in trouble. They will worry about potential confrontation and unfair situations that have not yet happened. And this will set the tone for the entire day.

By taking the "divinatory" attitude, you strip yourself of power and draw to yourself the situations you are fearful of, by focusing on them and giving them so much energy. It becomes something of a self-fulfilling prophecy; you almost guarantee yourself a tough day ending in mental exhaustion. You will have turned yourself into the shadow side of the Queen of Swords.

Alternatively, if you draw a "good" card and don't have the experience that you believe the card portends, you'll begin to wonder about your interpretive abilities and what you did to keep this positive experience from materializing. The result will just be an unpleasant loop of questioning with very little learning involved.

Now, to my personal process: I draw a single card every few days, but I draw them in the evening after the day is done, and focus on the card as additional information about the day I've just had. It helps me understand confusing situations, points me in interesting new directions for addressing conflicts, and gives me new insight into my own behavior and choices. By focusing on the day behind me, I am able to look at specific things and evaluate them in a different light, and I avoid any tendancy to trip over self-fulfilling prophecy or anything of the sort.

However you choose to use a card-a-day practice, the important thing to remember is that it is supposed to be a beneficial, positive experience. If you find it causing you stress or becoming unfulfilling, change up your approach or give yourself a break and stop altogether! It's only worth doing as long as it is useful!

Reading the Negative Space

A recent experience reminded me that sometimes it's as important to read the cards that don't come up as it is to read the cards that do.

What on Earth does that mean? Well, quite simply that sometimes things make themselves obvious by their absence. Think about it. When you're presented with a logical sequence and one element is out of place or missing, it draws attention to itself. If I give you the number sequence 1, 2, 4, 5, 6 your first thought is not "oh, that totals 18" or "gee, here are five numbers," but "where is the 3?" You see the sequence and respond to what is not there in its usual place.

There are instances where the tarot will draw attention to something in the same way, by highlighting its absence in a reading. That doesn't mean that the cards that DO come up are not important, but it does suggest that the missing aspect of the sequence may be sending an equally important message.

Consider, for example, a reading where you draw three cards and get three Aces: Cups, Swords and Wands. Clearly this is suggestive of beginnings, a lot of new energy. My own read would focus on this newness: new feelings, new ideas, new creative energy. But the card that draws our attention by its absence, the Ace of Pentacles, adds a new spin to this tableau.

Because the Ace of Pentacles is "missing" from the sequence, this may lead us to ask questions about whether what it represents is missing from the circumstance or situation in question. In my sample three-card reading, this missing link suggests that although new ideas, emotions and energy are present, these things are not being brought to fruition: manifestation is not yet happening, we aren't yet seeing these ideas, emotions and energy in the real world as concrete results.

However, what this ultimately means is best decided in consultation with the querent, or if reading for yourself, in careful thought and review of your situation. Other possible interpretations may suggest you are somehow blocking those results, or that the steps you've taken so far need further refinement before they can manifest in the world. You might come to understand that there are additional steps you need to take before manifestation can occur; on the flip side, the cards might be telling you that you are perhaps emphasizing the drive toward results too much, and to pull that line of thought out of your own equation.

As with any other reading, only you know what a striking absence ultimtely suggests. But take the opportunity, when the cards call attention to what is missing, to consider its role in your evaluation as equally important as the cards that are present.

NEWS FLASH: TAROT MAMA READINGS AND PRIVATE TUTORING! If you would like a personal reading with me, or a private tarot tutoring session, please contact me. Readings are $40 per session, tutoring depends on the topic and depth of approach. Readings are available remotely via email or in real time via phone, Skype, IM or in the 3-D Virtual Worlds Second Life and InWorldz.

New Year's Readings: Your Heart's Desire

It's a fairly common practice for people who use the tarot to do a reading on Dec. 31 or Jan. 1 to see how the new year might play out. I've done this myself and really, there's nothing inherently wrong with it. But practices like this can set us up, in a way; whether or not we're strongly conscious of it, broad general readings of this nature become set in our expectations and we might find ourselves making decisions or taking attitudes based on what the cards seemed to say.

You might be wondering now, "but isn't this what the tarot is for?" And the answer, of course, is "yes and no."

The tarot really works as a mirror of our lives, and like our lives, is fluid and ever-changing. It reflects the situations and people and opportunities around us at any given point in time, like a snapshot. "What will happen?" questions are notoriously badly framed for the tarot, and even the most basic and ill-informed books on tarot meanings suggest the better course is to ask "What is most likely to happen IF ..." Additionally, the tarot only takes into account the person who is asking the question, and while it can highlight the potential actions of others, it obviously has no control over them and no insight into any sort of guaranteed future actions of anyone. We all have free will, and we are all interconnected. We can set up the dominoes in a certain way, and the tarot can tell us that yes, they are set up to form a certain pattern, but a sudden choice by one of those free-will dominoes to fall in the opposite direction can completely change the outcome we expected and that the tarot seemed to predict.

So, for the New Year, I want us all to try something different. Instead of letting the tarot tell us what we expect, let's use the tarot to tell the Universe about how we would like our 2011 to go. Here's what I want you to do:

Select your favorite spread; it can be elaborate or simple, traditional or one you invented yourself.

Take your tarot deck and turn the cards FACE UP.

For each position in your spread, thumb through your cards. If a card speaks to you, pull it out of the deck and place it in the position.

Now, think about this card. What do you think it says about your year ahead? Is this what you WANT? Be careful here to note the difference between what you expect and what you really WANT. Sometimes those two things are the same, but oftentimes they are not!

If the answer is "yes, this is what I truly want to see in 2011," then leave the card in place. If the answer is "this is what I expect to see" or "this is what will probably happen" or "it would be okay if this happened," PICK THE CARD UP. Replace it in your deck. Now thumb through your deck, looking carefully at your cards, and select the card that symbolizes what you really, truly WANT to see in 2011.

Continue this practice for the rest of your layout. Yes, it will take longer. It will also take some serious thought about what you want versus what you think is possible or probable. But at the end of your spread, you will have a beautiful picture not just of your "best possible outcome" but instead of your heart's desire. And once we truly know our heart's desire, it becomes easier for us to work toward fulfilling it, or to work toward changing it should it be a desire that is inherently harmful to us or those around us. We cannot act without first knowing. Comprehension is the key.

Additionally, it sets a tone of positivity for the coming year, and reminds us that in the final analysis, we are in control of ourselves. We control our reactions to people and things and situations, we get to choose how we move through and address and feel all the different aspects of our lives. That power is ours and cannot be taken away, no matter what situations we find ourselves in. Pretty amazing stuff.

Happy 2011! May we all realize our hearts' desires this year ... and yes, as always, I mean that in at least a couple of different ways!

You Can Do It: Invent Your Own Spread

I was an active tarot reader for a number of years before it dawned on me that I could actually design my own spreads. And given the number of questions I see posted to forums and tarot discussion groups asking for spreads to address specific issues, this apparently is foreign territory to a lot of people.

Why? Certainly a number of people who read tarot only for themselves may be "by the book" users, used to depending upon external sources for definitions and meaning. If you are still focused on a little white brochure to tell you what your cards mean, it might not occur to you that you can do something other than follow to the letter the little diagrams in the back. Others may have certain "gurus" or experts whose approaches they like and prefer to depend on spreads created by those individuals. While nothing is inherently wrong with either of these approaches, the one common element is a fairly serious one: a unilateral unwillingness to take on both the power of and the responsibility for truly reading and interpreting the cards.

It's not easy to trust our own inner voice, especially when we are new at something. It might seem like a daunting task, but the truth is that creating your own spread can be tremendously empowering, and can help you hear your own voice more strongly and begin to build trust in your own intuition or guidance rather than always depending on an outside source. So go ahead and do it: invent your own spread!

Here's how to start:

There are no hard and fast rules as to how to create a spread. Chances are good that if you're actively reading now, you have a couple of "go to" spreads that you tend to use frequently. For many people this includes the 10-card Celtic Cross and a basic five- or seven-card spread. It's easy enough to create variations of these familiar patterns, tweaking them to fit unique situations that you encounter or specific questions that you may have. I—and I think most readers—do this in our heads all the time, shifting the meanings of the placements as we read in order to pinpoint the most cohesive and appropriate message; this kind of interpretation is the core of a good tarot reading and requires personal confidence in our inner voice. This is really not different than actually creating a spread with a uniquely-designed pattern and set of definitions. So if you are somewhat daunted by the idea of creating a tarot spread, take heart in the fact that you already do it every time you read to one degree or another.

To begin creation of your own spread, think of a question or problem you are working with—your own or someone else's. Consider the key points that need to be covered in order to address the question, and write them down. Think about what you need to know, what sort of guidance you are seeking, and how or whether there are other influences or points of concern that should be considered. These points will form the basis of your layout.

Next, consider how to pare these points down, combine them, or organize them into a succinct compact grouping. I knew someone once whose "go to" spread was an elaborate 30-card layout designed by his "spiritual mentor." The card placement and interpretation was so complicated he never read without his "cheat sheet," a dog-eared, hand-written piece of notebook paper on which he'd taken careful notes and to which he had to refer quite often. A reading with this well-meaning individual would take the better part of two hours, just for him to interpret the lie of the cards, and much of the information was repetitive and not completely relevant to the question at hand. He would even sometimes lose his place on the "cheat sheet," read a section of cards one way, then decide he'd read them "wrong" and go back and re-interpret them. Clearly, this layout's reach exceeded its grasp. It's a bit like aggressive fashion on the wrong person; if the dress is wearing you, it should go back on the rack. If the layout is running you, it needs to be refined.

Once you have refined the number of cards and the position definitions, choose a layout pattern. This is based entirely on preference. You might want to create an "image" that fits your spread's purpose, like a star, an unfolding flower, or a tree. Or you might just want to place your cards in a straight line or a circle. The best plan is to use an arrangement that is sensible and easy to remember so you don't find yourself permanently enslaved to your own "cheat sheet."

Next, do a test drive of your layout. Play the role of both client and reader. Ask a question and use your new spread to answer it. It can be helpful to ask a question you feel you already have a handle on, in order to see how well the definitions you've selected for each position feed into the answer. If you find you have extraneous information or if a position feels out of place, refine your layout. If you feel you are getting incomplete information, add a position or tweak the definitions to better fit the information you need to obtain to answer the question or solve the problem.

When you feel you've got something workable in terms of pattern, definitions and number of cards, write it all down for future reference. But above all, if in the future you find yourself thinking that it's just not exactly right, DO feel free to revise it as many times as you might need to!

Techniques to Try When You Don't Get It!

I don't get it!

At one time or another, all of us who use the tarot have had this phrase run through our minds. We look at the cards laid out before us and instead of enlightenment, we feel more confused than ever.  What is that card doing there? I don't get it!

Early on in  my tarot practice, my initial impulse was to be dismissive and self-blaming ... I must have done something wrong, that doesn't make sense, I'll do it over. This, as you can imagine, was not an effective approach and did more harm than good. I even stopped doing readings altogether for a time, because I could not seem to "get it right."

I was only reading for myself at that phase, so there was no opportunity for dialog. If you are having a reading done for you, a good reader will find ways to draw you out and direct your examination of the spread or any particularly confusing card until you find an aspect that fits or resonnates. But when you are reading for yourself, it can sometimes be a little difficult to see the forest for the trees. The temptation can be enormous to ask, ask, ask again. We'll draw more cards, or we'll start over at the very beginning. We'll look up interpretations in a series of different references, searching for meaning. Some of us might switch to a different deck or even a different system of divination.

Nothing is really wrong with any of these approaches on their face. Foruntately the tarot seems to be much more forgiving of self-generated confusion than the I Ching, which I once badgered with the same question over and over and over again only to get the same hexigram over and over and over again, finally with a moving line that stated tersely "Action without thought brings about the evil of bewilderment." But the I Ching's comment is relevant here and that is precisely what we must guard against: action without thought.

Try these techniques whenever you get a card  or even a whole reading that you can't seem to make sense of:

1. Percolate. I stop looking at the card or spread, stop thinking actively about what it means, but set my mind to let it come into consciousness at any time, then go about the rest of my day. I find that as I relax my focus on the confusion and let go of my need to make things "fit," the space is created for different meanings and connections to float to the surface. That happened to me just this week, when my understanding of a card I'd been trying to interpret in the vein of "steeped in nostalgia" or "trapped in the past" slowly evolved to become "we've been through this before" and "familiar territory."

2. Associate. Again, I let go of what things "mean" and just let myself notice things. Colors, images, feelings I have about the card or cards, patterns. I don't fixate on these things, I just notice what I notice. Is there a coherent pattern? Does any one thing have more resonnance for you than the others? Do all things seem to come to your attention equally? Sometimes the way a card or a spread makes you react to it IS the meaning.

3. Wait. If all else has failed and you still just don't get it, it may be that the tarot is referring to something outside your immediate frame of reference--something you don't know, something hidden, or something that is yet to happen. I can't count the number of times over the past 28 years that I've suddenly been taken aback even six months after the fact, and thought "So THAT'S what that meant--now it makes sense!"

Remember, the tarot can only show us what we are ready to see. Most importantly, when you come up with a card or a spread that you don't understand, avoid blame and criticism, especially self-criticism. Openness and patience will yield leaps in understanding.

When We're Open Enough to Learn

Welcome to TarotMama. My goal is to help those of you out there who use the tarot, whether as a reader for yourself and/or others, or as a client of someone who reads for you, figure out the practical messages and lessons offered by this form of self-communication. I call it self-communication, because essentially that's what it is; we most often already know the answers we seek, we just need a little help bringing them to the forefront of our consciousness.

I have a lovely example of this for you in a reading I did for myself tonight.

I thought I was asking about a potential job opportunity. Instead, the reading I drew addressed a much more compelling and important question that has actually been on my mind for quite awhile.

I pulled 10 cards for a Celtic Cross Spread from the Voyager Tarot. The crucial message came in the first two cards, which were:

1. present influences, atmosphere or situation: Wheel of Fortune
2. immediate influence, crossing or furthering energy, something coloring the situation: Five of Cups, Disappointment

The remainder of the cards were glowingly positive and reassuring, culminating with the Ten of Cups. This read to me as something very different than a "don't worry, be happy" message, however. Instead, this reading was a very clear warning that I am blocking my own good fortune, luck, happiness and success by clinging to my disappointment. I began to think of how much of my life has been spent in disappointment, how just recently I was thinking that I am being set up to be "disappointed again." The longer I considered this card, the more apparent it became that slowly and insidiously, "disappointed" has become part of my personal identity. Not merely a self-fulfilling prophecy, "disappointed" somehow has become one of the ways I define and express myself in the world.

So what does it mean to be "disappointed?"

Jim Wanless notes in his book Voyager Tarot: Way of the Great Oracle that "Disappointment is the result of your emotional attachment to an expectation that is unfulfilled. The "negative" mind views this as a loss. The outcome is sadness and heartache." This is certainly not a newsflash, not even anything I didn't already know, but for some reason the words struck me in a much more profound way. I had been thinking that I was about to be disappointed again, that I didn't want to be disappointed any more. But I had been thinking of it almost without any connection to my own ability to influence the situation, as though disappointment was inevitable and furthermore something that would be heaped on me from an external source.

A key issue that came up as Card 9 (environment, tendancies existing with respect to those who affect the querent, immediate surroundings) was Trust, the Six of Wands. I will need to invest in my associates, friends, partners and environment the trust that things are on-course, that all the good I deserve is in fact coming to me and my goals and dreams are on their way. But this is not merely blind trust; also present and prominently placed were Aspiration, the Four of Wands; Illumination, the Ace of Wands; and major arcana cards The Star and The Empress. This reading might be about letting go of attachments and expectations, but it was not at all about letting go of dreams, goals, or hopes. "Go for your goals, but live in the moment," Wanless advises. "When disappointed, work harder at realizing your goals, but also work hard at letting go of your emotional attachment to the outcome." Instead of telling me to let go because my desires were not going to be forthcoming, the reading appears to underscore all the wonderful things I'll miss if I don't get my behind off the attachment bandwagon, that my "disappointment" is in fact blocking me from everything I desire.

This is not to say that I or anyone should be closed off to feelings. Emotional attachments are necessary things. We have them to our children, our partners, our passions, our pets. We are soulless beings without emotional attachments. But you can be emotionally attached to a goal (or even a person) without holding attachment to an outcome. Consider a potential mate. You have an emotional attachment to this individual, for sure. You are fond of them, you want the best for them, you appreciate them, and they mean something to you. Their happiness brings happiness to you. But must this person be destined to be your spouse or lover in order for the emotional attachment to flourish? By trying to squeeze your emotional attachment into the tiny box of a specific outcome, you diminish its value, you place the heavy chains of expectation upon the other person, and you potentially set yourself up for ... you guessed it, disappointment.

I often find that people who have this kind of attachment, on reaching the outcome they wanted, simply replace it with a new outcome on which to focus and pour all their emotional energy. So fulfillment is never reached, tension always permeates the environment, and disappointment is always on the horizon. I know I have been guilty of this in the past, and I am much more vigilant about it now.

At any rate, I am grateful I was open enough this evening to see in the cards a very important lesson that I know will have lasting impact on my health and happiness in the future. We aren't always open enough to learn, but the cards are, fortunately, willing to repeat themselves as often as necessary until we finally "get it."

xox,
Your Tarot Mama

the full spread below:
deck: Voyager
spread: 10-card Celtic Cross

1. Wheel of Fortune
2. Five of Cups, Disappointment
3. The Empress
4. The Star
5. Woman of Cups, Rejoicer
6. Ace of Wands, Illumination
7. Eight of Worlds, Change
8. Six of Wands, Trust
9. Four of Wands, Aspiration
10. Ten of Cups, Passion

Discussion and questions welcome! Please note comments are moderated to control spam. :)